if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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