Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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