At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
