you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize