Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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