This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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