and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
