I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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