his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she smelled like a LAN party
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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