i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
