so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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