She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
