and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
