If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
