It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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