This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
