Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
