Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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