May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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