So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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