Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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