this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
