Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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