The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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