I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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