i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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