too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
