Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My life is pants optional.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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