Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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