this just has baby written all over it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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