I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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