What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize