i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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