I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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