I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
