nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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