so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
