On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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