kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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