how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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