I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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