Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
