hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
