So drunk its hurt
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
