I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
