you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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