we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize