I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
