How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
