The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
