Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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