I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
