I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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