apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
