They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
