While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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