What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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