# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
