Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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